Chapter 4 — Hello darkness my old foe (a flowy letter)
Before I Go by Hay Farris Chapter 00004 - "Hello darkness" Written: September 6, 2022 Geographical Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Technical domain location: www.hayfarris.com Edited and Posted publicly: October 17, 2022
Content Warning: death, extreme weather
A letter to the darkness—
Hello darkness my old foe,
Bless your heart, sweetie. Did I step on your toes? My advice forevermore—
DON’T GET SO CLOSE.
??⚡️??
A letter to the darkness of my past inaction—
Hello darkness my old foe,
Bless your heart, sweets. Did I step on your toes?
Maybe next time,
You should move your feet. Lest I show back up with Light that’s a little less sweet.
⚡️?
Goodbye darkness—you sure did put up a fight—but now I must address the bearers of Light—
Hello Light,
How beautiful is the dawn of this new day? I’ll gently share what I have to say.
Thoughts are great. Prayers are better. But what happens when we can’t control the weather?
We get an umbrella. We put on rain boots. We try to find shelter. At least that’s what I do. Sure at first I sit still and give it a good winnie-the-pooh think think think. But the longer I sit, the more likely I’ll get distracted, lose my fire, become subject to the storm that will overwhelm me. Maybe I’ll get hit. Right there where I’m sitting. Where my tush is glued. Where I sit—maybe even in prayer—praying for the weather to move. But the weather doesn’t move ONLY by request, friends—not for James Spann and not as we choose. (Sorry to say, if the storm ain’t moving for James, it ain’t moving for you.)
Oh, don’t get me wrong. God can and many times He will. (⚡️.) But if there’s space between your thoughts and prayers and even more space between your prayers and actions, please refrain from telling people how they should feel. Especially not while they are being struck by their own section of the same storm. (Kinda like my version of the old saying: You haven’t been me and I haven’t been you.) I can’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes, but maybe it’s time to re-up that phrase. Make it 2022. Let’s expand. Shoes aren’t enough in this day and age. All of us aren’t able to walk. What shall we do? What do we do when the only way to understand how another person feels is to begin by giving up walking entirely? Done. Never again.
No more walking.
The end.
?
I’m only speaking from my personal perspective. And here you’ve stumbled upon quite the collective. Publishing my journals was an easy decision when I realized all I could do was speak what I’d written.
So sorry friends. I’ve died too many times.
Sorry friends, I’ve spent way too much time
stuck in the dark—just me and some machines trying to reboot this body. Tryna give me a restart. See I’ve already met death and looked fear in the face. I’ve watched for too long, trapped in silence, stuck in one place. I’ve watched from afar as wars sprout up like plants. Like dirt devils in the desert, splitting cracks in our foundation as if our foundation was just jeans, just pants. I’m sorry to spoil you on the ultimate ending, but the darkness? The darkness has lost. Whether or not it’s trending.
This is just the beginning. Of the end. Or the ending of the beginning. Or the beginning of the new beginning? Or the ending of all beginnings? Or the beginning of no endings forevermore and all time. Whatever you like to call it. LET THERE BE LIGHT.
Now—addressing the darkness once more Before I Go,
Darkness? You’re just residual. After effects. Wisps of smoke.
Get away from my people. Leave HUMANITY alone.
See the real fire here, burns bright as the sun.
Me. It’s me.
And I’ve only just begun.
Let there be no mistake—
the dragon fire that you sent to burn me?
Too little. Too late.
?
So HELLO DARKNESS? My old friend-ly foe?
Remember me? Remember how I GLOW?
Remember me from the fire? Remember me from the TORNADO? Remember me from the depths of despair?
Spoiler, you absolutely know me. You always made sure to meet me there,
there in the darkness of night
in the depths of my fight
in the bottom of my soul
where you tried to steal my light.
Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Have I made an introduction?
Darkness, have YOU ever experienced fear?
Darkness, meet fear. Fear, meet darkness.
Oh, that’s right. You’re old friends. Well, we’re not friends. Nope. Not us three. There’s only one set of three for me, ONE HOLY TRINITY. (I don’t want to argue semantics. I want to tell you the truth.)
Spoiler: LIGHT wins. LIGHT won. LIGHT has come for you. So of course I’ll stand for the LIGHT. I’ll stand in that space in that place. I’m willing to follow Jesus, king of the human race. Because with Jesus I’m not ever standing alone. But jokes on you darkness, cause to Jesus, I’m known. In fact, you wanna know a secret?
Me and the LIGHT, we’re coming for you, darkness. You’ve long been defeated. Time to go now. Backspace backspace. Oops, you’re DELETED.
?
Time for a refresher course in HOPE.
FOR ALL OF GOD’S PEOPLE.
See, darkness—to God, you’re just a joke.
RESIGN, darkness.
This is gonna be embarrassing for you.
Or not. More fun for me.
You choose.
?
Fire at your feet, darkness. This is your only warning.
✨?✨
I will close with A NOTE to the bearers of LIGHT:
You may think this a call to action, a call to fight. But it is only a call to analyze and fight your internal battles. Because in the depths of the darkness during one of the darkest nights Jesus himself said put away your sword, let Him handle the fight. So consider turning out your pockets and dropping your stones, this battle is NOT YOURS. You are not alone. Lay down your weapons and your anger then you will see the heart of the human, the Victory in Jesus for all humanity. Plus without weapons your journey will be…less heavy, or shall we say: light. My prayer is that you will see. You’ll see the truth of one another’s pain and drop your stones, drop your walls, and see what remains.
Victory is in Jesus. That is precisely why He came. Love you all. Don’t ever forget, Jesus *already* won this whole game.
Love y’all with the Love of the Lord.?☀️
———Jesus———
Additional reading from the Hay Farris archives:
- To write is valiant — Dec 17, 2012
- My Before I Go Project
L❤️ VE that you are writing and sharing your journey. I have always loved that your written words are like listening to you speak. ❤️