“How are you?” — The Real Answer

Here we are. Two years ago this month our lives took quite a turn. The last post about my illness can be found here from October 2012. (So sorry, but this post will be less eloquent and more direct. I have very little energy and have attempted to write this post for months.)

If you’ve asked me at any point in the last year “How are you,” chances are good I gave you a blank stare. 

The question “How are you” is pandora’s box for my brain. Because I prefer honesty in friendships, my instinct freezes me in place at the thought of answering that question truthfully. Depending on the setting, I probably answered “I’m okay.”

But that’s a lie. 

I am so very far from okay. We are so very, very far from the shores that were once safe harbors of “okay.”

Here is our reality, in more detail than I’ve ever shared publicly before.

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Mountainside Reliance

          I haven’t posted in nearly a month for many reasons. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I mentally fall into a ditch, and then I walk in that ditch for a while and I meet a bunch of interesting ditch dwellers who all encourage and inspire me to climb back out. About a month ago my brain fell into a writing ditch. We were in the process of buying a house, my job was wearing me down, and what little spare time I had was much needed relaxation time with my husband. I occasionally would pull up my blog, stare at the main page for a minute and then close the computer. I simply didn’t have anything to say.

          I don’t know if what I’m writing today is the right thing to say, but I know it has helped me climb back out of the ditch. So maybe it will help someone else out there. Whether you’re stuck in a ditch or climbing a mountain, God wants to be next to you.